Thursday, 24 June 2010
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Frank Bainimarama Exclusive Interview on Fiji Government Finances on Sidelines of UAE Meet
Thank you Mr Prime Minister for allowing this interview on the sidelines of the UAE $50m handout meet.
There has been much talk in the International Community of your understanding of administering public finances so we wanted to ask you to explain the 13 basic financial statements that a government must produce to ensure that they provide for their citizens effectively.
Can you please summarize what each financial statement means to your present government in the Fiji Islands before we divide the $50m among you Pacific Islanders in return for your systematic religious conversion ?
Operating Statement ?Frank: We have a Charter and in that we made statements of our operations.
Balance Sheet ?
Frank: You see there are two sides to a Balance Sheet, Left and Right. Assets and Liabilities. Since I took over Fiji on the right side there is nothing right and on the left side there is nothing left.
Cash Flow Statement ?
Frank: There is no cash, so why would we need to make a statement of its flow?
Statement of Changes in Net Worth ?
Frank: Listen my Governments Net Worth is not measured in dollars and cents, it’s measured in guns and roses, you see we murder innocent people and then we send roses.
Statement of Loans-Made?
Frank: That’s an official state secret, you think I will allow Victor to make a new List.
Statement of Borrowings?
Frank: Fiji needs a clean plate in 2014, that way there will be nothing left to govern, so I will convert all the debt into equity and sell Fiji.
Statement of Commitments?
Frank: I am committed, always have been, you see my first coup was in 2000, but they never make me boss, see what happens when you committed, you can be anything.
Statement of Contingent Liabilities?
Frank: This is the thing I was talking about last week, too much prophets, ifs and maybes, I am a Dictator and I only deal in absolutes. Thats why we do not need to listen to the World Bank to take out catastrophic disaster insurance.
Statement of Emergency Financial Transactions?
Frank: We have an emergency every day, don’t you read the newspapers on the issuance by RBF of our AAAA+ rated securities?
Statement of Unappropriated Financial Transactions?
Frank: You are one real ulukau, how can there be unappropriated transactions when there is nothing to appropriate.
Statement of Trust Assets?
Frank: I am the only Asset and the people of Fiji Trust Me and if they don't trust me then somebody gonna get hurt real bad.
Statement of Accounting Policies?
Frank: We have one policy that we give to the International Community, Donors and Funders and we have another policy for my new Elite.
Notes to the Financial Statements?
Frank: This where we hide everything, Sada Showed me how its done, boy that's why I gave it to those accountants last week, I told them not to copy the military government of Fiji.
ENDS.
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